Gender Roles can Suck It!

There is no such thing as boy and girl colors, toys, or activities.

The only real difference between boys and girls is genitalia and that is able to be changed.

 

What brings this up is; I have discussed in an earlier blog my kiddo loves My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.  He recently did really good at school and won a prize. I got him an Apple Jacks plush so he had one to play ponies with his cousin.  The poor guy can't play with other boys because he is super strong and hurts kids.  He hangs out with girls quite well.  I encourage this because everyone needs a friend.  He me last night if he could take Apple Jacks in his bag like he had been Mickey.  I told him yes but if you do please remember kids will probably say mean things to you.  You don’t listen, you are an amazing kid who I love dearly.  They are mean because they don’t know you and are maybe too young to understand.  There is no such thing as boy or girl stuff.  It’s all just stuff, if it makes you happy then that is good. 

I think that if you are a parent that it shouldn’t matter to you if your boy wants a doll or a pink toy.  It shouldn’t matter if your girl wants an action figure or blue toy.  If it makes them happy, why make them feel bad about their choice.  I am offering to sign Johnny up for football in the summer, if he were to choose dance or gymnastics, which would be fine as well.  If my niece wants to play football with him that would be really cool but again it is her choice.  My point is don’t push gender roles on your children.  They are who they are and you love them regardless.  Coming from someone who struggled with this all my life, it hurt me a lot being told no because “It’s for boys”. 

 

Brony in the making

I am somehow watching My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic and the Tinkerbell Movies with my 5 year old

JW has recently started watching a few shows I find to be so cutesy that I get a bit queasy.  They make him happy so I bare it.  He knows the theme song to My Little Pony now and got a DVD from the library of it. I am hoping it goes away eventually like everything else he gets into.  The Tinkerbell Movies aren't too bad but the MLP is a little much for me.  I guess I'll start preparing myself for Bronycon just in case.  He is amazing!

Today we got some errands done and during that JW stole a drink product. When I discovered this I went back to the gas station he stole it from, made him apologize, and discovered he had more items in his pocket. He had opened two of the three items so I ended up spending $10 more than I had expected. Not fun.  I had to have that talk most kiddos need about not taking things that don't belong to us.  

We are still having potty training issues which I am considering asking for a referral to a urologist.  We are trying to find a new therapist as well.  Did I mention that I am very drained.  Not sleepy although I haven't been doing that well lately either, just wiped out.  Come on weekend!

This was sent to me with the caption: To JW From N 

I love Superheroes but can't read Comics

I will watch pretty much any superhero movie that they put out. I watch them with the eyes of a child because I don't read comics. I say don't but the word I should use is can't. My brain for whatever reason can not process the different sizes of the boxes. I can read comic strips fine. I always describe it as my brain sees big box, little box, full page, little box, elongated box, and by that time it isn't seeing the words on the pages. I grew up watching Adventures of Superman (1952-1958) and Batman (1966-1968) on Nick at Nite.  I was so excited about Batman that I asked for a Batman cake on my 6th birthday.  That also happened to be the year Batman (1989) came to theaters.  I tried recently again to read a graphic novel in preparation for The Dark Knight Returns (2012 & 2013) coming to DVD. Any time I hear hardcore Batman fans talk that is the book they mention. I got a few pages in before my brain got messed up on the boxes. I am so glad they do so many animated movies or I wouldn't know much about any superhero. I am psyching myself up for Son of Batman (2014).  

I had one of those "this day can suck it" mornings

I had Insomnia Last Night

I could not for the life of me get my brain to slow down enough to get to sleep.  I didn't even go to the bedroom until 12:30. which is odd if I am alone.  I got comfortable in bed and I wasn't fading like I usually do so I tried some of the stuff I do to wear it down.  I wrote a few things, listened to podcasts, counted.  It wasn't happening.  Around 3:10 I got a text and started a very draining conversation which lasted for 20 minutes.  I passed out pretty quickly once my puffy cry eyes went down.  I estimate that I got maybe 2.5 hours before my alarm to get Johnny up and going for the day went off.  I got him up, fed, dressed, re-dressed (he had an accident), and to school.  I came home and was looking forward to laying down for a few hours but shortly after snuggling in bed the phone rang.  It was the school informing me that he had had an accident again and needed shoes.  I got up, dressed, grabbed the shoes, and I was on my way.  When I got there he had destroyed the office bathroom.  He had tried to clean himself up.  It was everywhere!  I did what any good mom does I went to work.  Using bathroom paper towels, wet and soapy, I cleaned him up.  Once I got him clean I started cleaning the floors so he could start getting dressed without stepping in it.  We accomplished the mission and got him back to class.  I felt good that I was there to help and again started longing for my bed.  I got home and decided to eat my breakfast.  I had some leftovers.  Very filling and comforting.  I got back into bed with the intention of sleeping until afternoon.  That is until my phone rang again.  Little man had had another accident and that it was bad again.  He had no more pants and they were releasing him for the day because he is considered ill.  I was so tired and out of it by the time this call came that I handed it off to my amazing partner in life.  He came home, got him some pants, picked him up, brought him home, cleaned him up, and hung out with him so I could get some sleep. 
I feel much better now.  Little man feels a little better.  We spent the afternoon together making art and practicing stuff for school.

My son has bladder control issues

My kiddo is 5 and he is still not potty trained. We are not sure why but that is the reality of the situation. Recently we ran into a very large road block. He is to big for pull-ups and the good nites brand are too expensive for our budget. I had to come up with an alternative. I had a bed cover that I had gotten from the goodwill for $1. I cut off the mesh sides, cut it into strips, then shaped the strips to fit around the legs in big boy underwear. I then took the mesh, sewed into the crotch, added the padding, then covered it with the mesh, and sewed it up. He now has big boy underwear with a lining. He was being teased for wearing pull-ups still and now the kids will only see regular underwear. He loves his new Transformers underwear.

Spider-Man is an Emo Teenager

The Amazing Spider-Man 2

I like my super heroes to be men.

I watched The Amazing Spider-Man 2.  I found some of the rescue scenes very pleasing visually. I loved the blue electric graphics.  Watching him go through his emo tantrums; almost made me stop watching it.  I came back and gave it a chance. I loved his science experiments.  The conversation in the closet was a nice giggle.  Sally Fields does a great job as always.  Oh the tantrums!  They shouldn't reward that behavior with a clue. Such a pretty train!  It was okay even with all of the emo moments. It is still not suitable for children under middle school.

I miss Catholic Church, a tiny bit.

 I went to a Catholic school K-5

It was not a good time in my life.  This is gonna suck to get out but I need to do it.

My Mom was raised Catholic and I was baptized.  My parents decided that sending me to a Catholic school would be better for me.  I will admit I got a very good education.  I was far ahead of my public school counterparts when I transferred.  I have ADHD, my parents were wonderful and fought the school every time they would get a call.  She had many meetings and a full board of people to talk too.  The sad truth about this is I probably got kicked out but my parents made it seem like it was my decision.  
I was teased, judged, and made to feel horrible about myself.  I was made to prove myself daily to my female classmates who didn't understand me.  When I tried to do the easy thing and play sports, I was picked last although I am really strong.  When I would play with the other "outcasts" I would be cast in the villain role because I was bigger than them.  Although my teachers were pretty good they did not maintain composure around me and would blow up on me at least twice a year.  That was until 3rd Grade where my teacher was just a plain bully.  I was saved the following year by a teacher who lived close to me and I adored.  She was patient and kind.  I still got in trouble a lot but I was willing to complete goals for her.  By the 5th grade I was in full bloom, my Trichotillomania had started, I was very dark and mean because I felt I had no one to talk to and everyone thought I was strange. I was being made fun of to my face and behind my back. I also sang, all the time, I couldn't just listen and focus in class.  I would put Elmer's glue on my hand and let it dry, peel it off and look at the mirror image of my palm print.  I would play with stuff in my desk as we were being taught.
I transferred in the 5th grade.  I got to play soccer before leaving and it was okay but I hate running.  I got to go to CCD class and basketball practice on Wednesdays.  I liked basketball more but again with the running.  And you have to dribble while doing that.  Just put me under the basket and I will shoot the ball.  I really wanted to play football or wrestle but that was unheard of; a girl playing with the boys, especially at a Catholic school. I eventually left CCD because I was very hyper and I had started middle school, had friends, and I got into all city choir. (2) We would go to church almost every Sunday unless we were camping, or at Griffin. I also tried a few other churches but they were less structured and I couldn't grasp it.  One church they I went to with my sister and her friend from the neighborhood.  The last day they did a enactment of the rapture.  They used too many lights in a red hue.  I found it way more violent than it was intended and I was kind of traumatized by it. 
The one thing that helped a lot was being able to go to church on Friday and sunday.  I got to sing, it was structured, I believed what they were telling me about this magical loving man.  I once got to be the lectern.  Me and two other girls had assigned sections.  I remember being so excited that I memorized my script overnight.  As a teenager I volunteered in the daycare and joined the choir.  It was great.  I got to sing at midnight mass, play a string bass with the guitar chorus.  Then I hit puberty and I realized that by admitting who I am means in my religion I would be told it was wrong and a damnable offense.  I just couldn't believe what they were telling me. 
I still don't know what I believe but I know that if the Catholic church can start acting more like the magical loving man they taught me about all those years ago.  I may be able to start believing in them again.


1.  I feel like I just wrote an outline for an after school special.
2.  I have those group pictures. Turner! Bonnie!

We Are Attached at the Hip

A little peek into our life as Domestic Partners

We are attached at the hip, we know it, you know it, and that is awesome.

Jared and I make a very interesting pair.  He had very little dating or life experience and I was the complete opposite.  I have lived enough for a few lives but that is a story for another day.  I have been told that I have brought Jared out of his shell.  I am proud that I am the one who got to be with him through all of our story.  In the beginning we immersed ourselves in each other.  I really got to know him.  I opened up to him and I can honestly say that this man is worth fighting for. 
We are both varying degrees of phobic about being in public.  He hides behind his phone or in a closet. While I hide my discomfort with idle chit chat laughing at my own very dumb jokes.  Every time I see him I smile, he does the same.  I have learned that it isn't growing old with someone as much as growing up together. (1) He waits for me to get my dinner to the table before he starts to eat.  I make him a special breakfast at least once a week usually after him working.  He tells me I am pretty, I tell him the same.  We are that couple that watches a romantic movie and tries to figure out how that couple is us.  We are just both very lucky to have each other and we know it.  We want to be together if at all possible and we like it that way.  I am his guard when we go in public, he falls in behind me and he is tall enough to see over the crowd.  He is one of the shyest people I have ever met and I grew up with Sara.  I am the loudest, most animated, unique person he has ever met.  I like to use a line from a romantic movie that I love to describe us "He doesn't make sense, I don't make sense, together we make sense.".(2)
I hope this hasn't been to rambling for you and maybe it gives you something to think about.  I am @dorkfeasor on Twitter if you want some of my wit in 140 characters. Also lots of posts about my favorite shows and podcasts.


1. At this point I realize that I might just be rambling but it feels good coming out so try to figure it out. 
2. Untamed Hearts (1993) Christian Slater, Marissa Tomei, Rosie Perez, and a "rapey" Willie Garson

I am Bladder Control Challenged

My family is not known for their bladder control. From my mom and "adopted" sister peeing themselves in the driveway after a long night of drinking to me coughing and having to change my clothes. I have a saying "I laugh, I sneeze, I cough;I pee". I have had issue since I was little. I just don't get that warning tingle 90% of the time. Most recently I have noticed that I can't listen to my favorite podcasts, watch my favorite shows, or exercise without at the very least a panty liner. I know that it is odd that one, I talk about it openly. Two, I still have major issues at 31 but it is who I am. I like who I am. I went through a lot of BS to get here. I think that I would rather pee myself a little than not laugh at all. By the way there was an episode of Big Bang Theory Monday where Amy Farrah Fowler runs out of the room while saying "I'm so excited, I think I peed!".

Godfather is Overrated

I remember going to Hollywood Video and getting all 3 movies, coming home, and watching them all. I get that it was a masterpiece and made careers but oh my goodness they are boring. I believe I dozed off a few times. I do remember the great part of Gilmore Girls when they make a plan to watch the trilogy and rewind the daughters death scene repeatedly. I just wanted it to all be over by then. With all that being said I would still recommend that you watch the trilogy at least once and judge for yourself.